Feminist Frat Boy

Ableist Bullshit

So through some means out of your control you find yourself unable to walk or see or hear or pretty much do anything else that most people take for granted at any given point in their lives. Now you may find what I did and see that people are stupid.

Now I don’t mean the normal, run of the mill, no common sense thing that afflicts most people but rather that when they see a handicapped person they assume something must be wrong with every aspect of them. I am talking like the “No don’t drink that coffee, it’s hot” kind of shit. I know it’s hot, you listened to me fucking order it hot. Just because my legs don’t work doesn’t mean I am a moron now.

And dudes, I am sorry but it is shit for you now. Society pretty much shows no images of handicapped people and every image you see of a guy is him doing something active. You are fucked and your image of masculinity will suffer if you have been sufficiently brainwashed.

Am I not more than my sprint time? Or something common in sports (I don’t watch them). Everyone seems to be obsessed with them even though they are boring as shit. I understand the whole we-will-only-show-ablebodied-men in advertisements to an extent but come on, do we really have to define masculinity by how big a rock you can lift or some other such shit? I thought we had moved out of the stone ages.

We don’t hunt and gather anymore and those muscles are useless to a computer that now runs your life.

For Everyone

So there are many things that I hate that people do but one has been weighing fairly heavily on my mind. It isn’t even so much what had happen as much as the implications of such actions and attitudes associated with it.

Basically what happened is this: a friend of mine went to a professional conference which included a dinner. While at the dinner she was sitting next to an older guy (middle aged going on elderly) who was a close talker and who liked to semi-flirt. Fine. Later during the dinner he started to rub his leg on hers. She mentioned that he was touching her leg and his response was “I know.” Not cool. It took her kicking his leg for him to get the picture it was not okay and to stop.

The thing that gets me fired up is the fact that our society teaches that a woman’s body is public property and that men seem to feel entitled to making them feel uncomfortable whenever they feel like it.

Fuck that.

A person is a person and it is things like this that contributes to our culture of sexual assault, domestic violence, and other unpleasantries. When you are told that the paragon of manliness is strength, of femininity is obedience and silence, and that women are there for male amusement, of course bad shit is going to happen.

That’s Her Thing

One of the things that really gets me going is when people do not take responsibility for themselves. This extends, with a vengeance, to what they do in the bedroom and I am not talking about getting in people’s shit and telling them what is appropriate and what isn’t. What I mean is birth control.

I cannot even begin to tell you how pissed I am at guys when they talk about birth control like it is solely the woman’s issue. Correct me if I am wrong but it does take two to tango, as they say. Birth control has a good record for prevention, don’t get me wrong, I am just saying that at the very least it doesn’t hurt to hedge your bets and use redundant forms. A type of female contraceptive (pill, IUD, etc.) and a condom only makes it that much more improbable that your birth control will fail.

Birth control is great, if taken regularly and consistently but the problem comes if someone misses a pill or a patch or whatever and the male partner is not being intelligent and protecting themselves. I hear the same shit from everyone: “But it makes it less sensitive.” Who gives a fuck? You know what else takes away things? A kid. Say goodbye to disposable income and free time if you end up with a little ankle-biter because you were too caught up in acting like a child instead of a responsible adult.

I came across an article the other day about the male birth control pill and have got to say that I am quite excited. This will only make it easier to stop inadvertently adding to the continuation of the human race. And besides, who wouldn’t want to be even more sure their legacy is only where they want it.

Here is the article for any who are interested: http://www.freep.com/article/20120226/FEATURES08/202260582/Male-birth-control-pill-in-sight-may-right-imbalance-in-options

Buy Me Love

I never really noticed it much before but the more I think about it, the more guys are told our only worth is in buying shit. That is it. Oh sure, the six pack abs would help, but the key thing is that you have to be ready to drop some serious dough on anything without really caring.

Everyone seems to want their Prince Charming to ride in on a Massarotti with a Tiffany’s box in his hand but that is just a bullshit view of things. The amount of work and the lengths I have seen guys go to to buy presents are astronomical. I mean shit, when you have to take a job working third shift five nights a week just because your significant other wants something, it is a bad time in your life.

This isn’t to say that men cannot buy their significant other gifts, I am just saying that we as a culture need to get our shit together and figure out some priorities. It seems that every time a female friend of mine finds a guy, it all becomes a game of “how much does his checkbook love me.” I have seen highly independent women go from having aspirations and financial goals of their own down to nothing.

What happened to saving up for that Coach purse you wanted? Oh, you aren’t going to worry about it now because you have a guy. Don’t you have a better job and more liquid assets than him? What the hell do you mean “it doesn’t matter that he is barely making ends meet?” If he really cared about you, he’d find a way? What the fuck are you even saying?

While that may have been a bit more extreme than normal, you all understand what I mean. I find it ridiculous that men are expected to jump through these hoops and have that be the deciding factor of our relationship health be how much we can spend.

This past Valentine’s day and even now I have friends that look at me like I have two heads when I don’t buy things for my partner like that is some kind of barometer to our relationship. God forbid we should actually talk to each other or spend time together, I am sorry but I am not currently working and cannot just throw around cash like I am Donald fucking Trump.

Society tells us that men should be at once emotionally distant and financially available and that is just stupid to a degree that I lack the words to describe. It says that everything is made better with a bouquet of roses and a jewelry box and if you can’t afford that or can’t make the small sacrifices (like not paying your electric bill for that month), then you are a piece of shit and your relationship is doomed.

Men get drenched in these messages every goddamn day and people wonder why our society produces bad people. When ever a person’s worth is not in their character but in their bottom line, not only is the system that set those standards fucked up but there are bound to be consequences.

• Woman: Can I have birth control?
• Government: No.
• Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
• Government: No.
• Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
• Government: No.

The F-Word

It seems like the knee jerk response of my generation to the word “feminist” is, more often than not, a negative one. See, the part that I don’t understand is a question of “why?”

I mean, I understand the campaign of misinformation by society and all that, but I feel like the people I associate with in university should be more intelligent than that. All I hear is how this generation is so internet obsessed and jaded by a constant stream of information. You would think that someone would have tried a search and realized that all the shit that’s supposed to go along with feminism (man hating, bra burners, all that) was pretty much just a scare tactic during the 80s. I listen to people all the time say tings like “I am not a feminist but…” and then they go on to spout off a bit of feminist thought. Seriously, what is in a word?

Anyway, my goal is not only to get those sort of people to realize that feminism and common sense are synonyms but to get the guys involved too. The overwhelming majority of the men I encounter are all for equal rights and that but all are pretty hesitant to take the plunge and at least explore feminism. What I find funniest about this is that most of them don’t think that society impacts any of there views. Really? You drink gallons of protein shakes, go to the gym five times a week, and drink Budweiser because society hasn’t impacted you at all?

Maybe some general media literacy would be good for them too. The culture of masculinity has men trapped and largely unable to do anything about it. We have to be hard and strong and not show emotion and all the other shit that comes with having a dick rather than acting like human beings and standing up for one another. This of course means that we cannot identify with any way of thought that introduces radical ideas like all people deserve to be treated the same.

I am doing this blog pretty much to help me sort things out. I plan on posting about things I notice that strike me as odd and see if I can teach people a thing or two along the way. I don’t think it will be the most original thing you’ve ever read but it may be fun anyway.